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October 21, 2009

OK...SO MAYBE I'M NOT A PERFECT GRASSHOPPER?

You probably wouldn't know this, but for quite some time I've been struggling with this running thing. I try to blame it on...oh I don't know...every-excuse-known-to-man...I have even been known to make up completely false excuses in my effort to justify my severe case of the lazy's.

And yes, I am completely aware that a "false excuse" is considered a "lie" in most people's books...Sue me...I'm human.

But, it's really been driving me crazy for the last 2 months. I'm not sure why. I know I'm not lazy. I have a concrete goal (two half marathons). I have a ridiculously detailed training schedule. I have my beloved Garmin. I even have the time (even though that's my #1 excuse in the "log of excuses" - which coincidentally has replaced my "log of miles"). I have it all, really...except the "mojo." (What is "mojo" exactly anyway?)

At any rate, I sort of felt like I needed an intervention. But who calls their OWN intervention, right?

Well, I guess I call my own intervention because today when RC called to ask me something about an upcoming race, and in the course of our conversation he said "how was your track workout"....well...I just lost it.

Because I hadn't done a track workout.

In 2 weeks.

Shameful, huh?

So right there, in the middle of the GA Sports Hall of Fame...on my cell phone...I began my own personal intervention. I'm not sure what I said. I think I probably babbled about needing help...losing focus and direction...not being able to figure it all out. I think I even got a lump in my throat.

Yes, right there in the middle of the Hall, I just wanted to sit on the floor and cry about it all.

(I'm sure RC is glad that I didn't because I don't think consoling a grown adult crying about her lack of running is on his list of "coaching responsibilities").

At any rate, I just let it all out. And it felt good. And, as usual, I got some super advice from a super Running Coach!

Basically, it boils down to the fact that I'm not perfect. I know! I was just as *shocked*. He said that in some aspect of all of our lives we need some accountability (ie, we are not made so perfect that we can be motivated to do everything all the time). For some people they might need accountability at work (definitely not me)...for others it might be their diet (again, so not me)...and still others it might be spending (yes...again...not me - you see how I began to think I was so perfect, right?).

No, for me it seems that running (and Personal Trainer Rick, feel free to jump in here and say "exercise in general") is something I need to be held accountable for. Surprising, huh? I haven't been very accountable to RC since the Labor Day Race as he was trying to let my little Grasshopper wings help me fly...

But alas, I have decided that this Grasshopper must have been born without wings.

Because I'm back to becoming RC's sidekick...the real Grasshopper...the numero uno student...the one who is afraid to skip that mid-week long run because RC will see it the Sport Tracker and then say something really nasty like "well, maybe you're not a runner after all...." (by the way...that one stung...) Yes, I'm back to posting about marathon paces and intervals and hill repeats and oh dear...those dreaded tempo runs. I'm back to looking forward to that weekly feedback where RC says "great job little GH....great job."

Yes, me....the not-so-perfect Grasshopper is back....with accountability in tow!

1 comment:

RC said...

Confession is good for the soul. By the way you are every bit a runner. You just have ups and downs like we all do. The thing to do is lean on your peeps during the down times. Accountable runners learn to run when they need to not necessarily when they want to. That goes for Tempo's too :)

Let's get to work Boston is a waiting!!!