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October 31, 2009

GRASSHOPPER PROBATION

I'm not really sure what "probation" entails, but as of today's suck-tastic race, I am officially in "Grasshopper Probationary Status."

I'm going to guess that there will be no ban on tempo runs, or long runs, or 1200m repeats. Instead, I'm sure during my probation I will have to eat, sleep, and poop endurance workouts. I'm also pretty certain that my every running move will be monitored by RC aka My Probation Officer and that, like a thug who robs a convenient store and gets caught, I'll have to report to him weekly, if not more than that, on my status.

I'm sure your asking yourself how I got to this point...heck, I'm even asking myself the same thing. But I guess it all started with that intervention I had a week or so ago...followed by this lovely gem of an email from RC:

"OK the following is going to be a less than gentle kick in the back side. You are a big girl and you can handle it. Let's start with this: GH sucking in the TEMPO area. You know what RC thinks about TEMPO's. They rule!!!!!! Posers drool!!!!!! (yes, that was really in the email)

Training for a rocking PR in a half marathon and setting the stage for a Boston Qualifying attempt in 2010 requires that you eat, live, and crap TEMPO's. 4 miles for starters, every single week, come heck or high water. I mean if you get hit by a bus, ask the ambulance to stop by the loop on the way to the hospital so you can get your TEMPO run in before they take you to surgery. (yes, that was really in the email)

Next: Intervals - See butt chewing above. Next: Repetitions - See butt chewing above. Next: Marathon Pace - See butt chewing above. At least you were consistent. You dropped everything evenly across the board." (that was by far my most favorite line out of the entire email)

He even included some fabulous pictures of my progress failure over the last 7 weeks. But they are pretty disgusting and I'd like to spare myself the embarrassment.

Instead I'll embarrass myself with a picture of what today's 5k looked like:




And here's how the whole terrible mess shook down:

Mile 1 - I ran too fast. I was supposed to be running a 7:40 but I got caught up in trying to weave in and out of everyone that I sortof lost track of what exactly I was trying to accomplish. And we were running on gravel...something I've never done before in a race (note to self: it's hard to run fast on gravel).

Mile 2 - I knew I was toast. I couldn't speed up. My legs felt like I was trying to run through a vat of jello. The plus? We were back on asphalt, but the toll that the gravel took on my legs (oh and being a slacker for 7 weeks)...well, I couldn't overcome it.

Mile 3 - I said "screw it." Out loud. As people were passing me. I switched my Garmin over to the time of day so I couldn't see the damage and just tried to not get passed by everyone I passed in the beginning (because good grief, that's embarrassing!)

I ended up finishing a whole 2 minutes slower than I wanted to.

And yes, I know that some people would kill me to be able to run a 5k in 24:56. But they wouldn't want to if they knew they were capable of running a 22:56, right?

The only good things that came out of today's race:

- The Jays Hope Foundation made some money for a great cause.

- My brother and the three rugrats came and ran too.

- Troy and I both scored some hardware for our efforts. Aren't these the cutest medals ever? I'm just thankful they weren't hats!



- And I had a good time. Because, really, that's what it's all about, right? If I'm not having a good time with this, then why bother.

As for my probationary status...I think I can handle it. I'm sure it's going to suck to try and get back on top but I know that deep down inside of me there is a 22:59 5k, and even a 3 hour 40 minute marathon brewing too (my Boston Qualifying time).

I just have to keep my eye on the goal, not slack off anymore, and run run run!


2 comments:

RC said...

GH,

You have much more to accomplish. That's why we want you back in the game. We need more sub 23 ladies in Middle Georgia so get ready to roll. You really did do a good job for the course and conditions. Trust me, it was a brutal run for many of us mere mortals.

I had fun too.

Shouldn't you be running intervals now or something???

Char said...

Don't beat yourself up about having a crap race every so often. You learn a lot about yourself during those ones. I've had a lot of them this year (must be a slow-learner) but every so often you have one that feels so good. Eventually you'll get your sub 23 goal and it'll feel great. Happy training!