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March 30, 2008

HATERS

We all know that there are people out there in the running community that hate people like me.

You know who I am, the slow one...the one who calls myself a runner, when YOU are certain that I'm more of jogger or (gasp) a really really fast walker. Believe me, I know what you think about me, so there is really no need for you to talk about me behind my back. I know that you don't want me to be a part of YOUR running club, or shop at YOUR running store, or mingle with YOUR real running friends. I know you want me to stay off the forum, heck, you may even think I need to shut my "running" blog down. I've known about you for almost 3 years. Since I started this thing called running. And with the exception of the Pearl Izumi ad last year, I've never really worked myself up about what you think about me. I just don't have the time or the energy for it. I've been busy running.

But what I don't understand, and what has finally made me actually want to post about what YOU have to say about me behind my back, is that I cannot figure out why YOU even care what I do. I don't care what you do. Really, I like to watch you run and secretly hope that one day I'll wake up with superbionic legs that will enable me to run as fast as you, but other than that, I don't care. So, why do you care so much about what I do? Typically people only talk about other people behind their backs because they are jealous of them. But that doesn't seem to fit here, because I am certain that you aren't jealous that I can finish a 5k in more than 25 minutes...I am just sure of it.

So, I don't know why you'd care, but did YOU also stop to think that because of people like me, your races are better? Without me your favorite race wouldn't take in the kind of money it does, so your water stops are better, your medals and trophies are better, and that t-shirt, well it might actually be wicking material because so many people like me supported that race of yours. Remember that part of that money that you won for coming in first place came from my pocket too. But don't worry, I'm not mad that it went to you. YOU earned it fair and square.

That running club that we both belong too is better because of people like me too. I know you don't see it, but go ask that treasurer next time how much money the club took in for this or that. Find out who the members are and you'll see that there are more people like me supporting YOUR club, than there are people like YOU.

I just don't get it and I know I never will. I don't know YOU, but I am often told about how YOU hate to see people like me show up on Sunday or Tuesday or moderate a small piece of the forum. What do I know about running? I know what I've learned over the past 3 years from YOU and the other people like you. I know that it's really hard to start off as 30-year old never running before and trying to continually be motivated to do it. It doesn't come easy to me, or to YOU, or to the people that I target, who coincidentally are more people like me. You won't ever see me post anything about proven ways to get faster, or run longer, or run smarter. But, I will post about how to make your sunglasses not fog up, or how to motivate yourself on a grueling 26.2 miles, or how to ask the real experts for help on something.

Like I said, I don't know YOU. And honestly I don't want to know who YOU are. I have my suspicions, and chances are that YOU don't read my blog, or if YOU do, you certainly don't think I'm talking about you right now. But, like I said, I don't want to know who YOU are. I could go down the list of members of OUR little running club and find at least one good thing to say about everyone I've met. At least one. Maybe more. I'd have a much harder time finding something bad to say, and frankly that's not my style. So, I'll just continue on with my naive little journey that I call running and pretend like you all like me. It's easier that way.

By the way, remember that when YOU tell someone else something, mean or nice, it will always come back to the person that you said it about. Really. So next time YOU feel like talking about me, tell that person you are gossiping with how beautiful my engagement ring is, or how nice my hair looked yesterday, or better yet, tell them you can see how much progress I've made over the last few years in my running. I promise that the compliments will come back to you ten-fold.

By the way, because I really would like to hear YOUR feedback, I'm allowing comments from anyone (ie, took the block anonymous comments off).

25 comments:

leora's blog said...

I ran home as fast as I could...but it wasn't too fast...you have given tremendous value to this running community, and it isn't measured with dollars. You, and especially you have really aided in creating a community or "team," and while the activity happens to be running, you really helped me get value from it. And as funny as it seems I think the YOU's are valuable too because there's no better feeling than doing something awesome and saying to yourself, "wussup haters! NOW WHAT!"
So thanks as always Rann Landers

Amy said...

Thanks LL.

I hope you didn't hurt your achilles running home :)

Anonymous said...

Amy,
Somehow I feel responsible for your spawning "HATERS" because of something I said yesterday. I apologize for my indiscretion. Sometimes, uh... most times, I get caught up in my blathering and talk about more "stuff" that does NOT edify something or someone, rather than talking about "stuff" that WOULD edify. And, if what I said did NOT motivate you, forgive me for thinking more of myself than I should. I'm sorry that you got so upset.

I think the reason people "hate" certain aspects of human nature is that they see more of themselves than they care to. And it is themselves, or that aspect of themselves that they are really lashing out at. That's why I hate it when people are impatient with me, it's that I hate that I am impatient [with myself].

In context with what you said about medals, trophies, and money - ain't nobody in these parts lining up in the invitational (elite) field at Boston. Nor do ANY of us local yocals compete for tens of thousands of dollars in prize money. Well, here I am blathering . . .

Thank God none of us are perfect!

Recreational Running in Macon

Amy said...

Rec Runner:

Don't feel responsible...you only validated what I had already been told a few weeks ago.

I just needed to post this and get it off my chest. Besides, I think all of this has made me take a reflection on myself and what I'm doing with my life and why I do what I do (or in my case: why I don't do what I should do)

Thanks for the talk and the advice. It is ALWAYS appreciated and always welcome.

Amy

Tim Cook said...

I personally think we need to remember what the whole picture of the MTRC is all about. RUNNING. Not about speed, medals or trophies. It is or should be based on the concept of getting ordinary people into running that might be thinking about it and don't have a place to go. Please, bring us your tired,oh wait someone has already said this. I feel that if there are boundaries in place for catagorizing runners in the club, there would be no room for growth. If we did not have runners of different speeds, when someone new showed up to run with us, we would have no one to pair them of with to show them the roops or paths. Chuckles:Laughing. Why in God's name would any one want to talk about others speed or agilities. I personally feel that I am too busy trying to figure myself out and surely cannot nor willnot try and figure out if someone is too fast or slow. Running is about racing yourself. Amy I should now take the time and say I am truely sorry for saying that I beat you in the race at Snickers. I know I said it jokinly and I hope you took it that way but I should have said that I just finished in front of you. Just because you finish in front of someone does not mean you beat them. Unless you know what someones goals are for a race, well then you don't know their intentions are in that race. Just because you finished in front of them, their goal could have been not to walk and if that is the cace, well then they WON. Amy continue to run, race and have fun because without people like you and Troy people like myself would not be out there today running for their next goals ( 3 in 3 months this fall ).

Sam M said...

Amy,

Can't believe there is anyone talking in that way in the MTRC. I guess I'm lucky in that ALL the people that I've ever conversed with in my 12 months with the club have been nothing short of positive and encouraging. I'm sorry there is negative stuff being said and there is really no place for it. Running is a personal journey and how fast and how far is different for everyone. I for one am proud of all our friends, fast and less fast. It doesn't really matter.

I'd like to tell the Hater, "Don't hate... APPRECIATE :)

Sam

leora's blog said...

i love families that have a miscommunication and disagreement and love each other right afterwards! It's the first family that I've been part of that works like this and its quite lovely!
I love my macon tracks family!

Amy said...

Thanks Sam....I like the positive and encouraging side of everyone I've met as well...

Love the quote...maybe I'll say that next time I run into a hater :)

Amy said...

Leora, you have made a very good point with all your wisdom and insight. Guess what has happened is sortof like you and Bobyatch fighting like sistas :)

I guess every family has it's own form of dysfunctionality :)

Terri said...

Well, I've been a member of the club since August, but only a member of the forum for a week...Based on what I've experienced so far, Amy, you seem to be a very down to earth person, as do most of you! I hope I don't encounter the haters you guys are referring to because I am one of the "slow" ones!! Being a teacher of special education students in the regular ed classroom, my kids have taught me the most valuble lesson - even the "slow" ones have A LOT of positive to contribute - in all aspects of life!

Firefly's Running said...

Amy, I have had my own personal journey to not take people's comments too personally - online and offline. But at the end of the day, words DO hurt in the long run. Runners come in different speeds and disciplines. You need to be yourself - not everyone else wants you to be. Be true to yourself so you can be you.

Stefanie said...

Wow!! I am not even sure what to say. I had no clue that were was a member/s of MTRC who felt that way.

All I can say it that it is really discouraging. I am a slow runner, very slow but you know what... I still run. By virtue of running, I am a runner. I know I can never compete or compare to those fast ones at the tuesday workout. I havent shown up to a Sunday run because I could never keep yall in sight.

I run alone so that I don't burden others by having them slow down. This is really discouraging and makes me wonder how welcome us slow ones really are. It also makes me question my next attendance at a track workout. Because while I am running my slow laps around the outside, now I will just wonder what the fast ones are saying about me.

:(

Anonymous said...

Wow! I seem to have been the "straw that broke the camel's back"!

What is slow?? That is such a relative term, and don't downplay any accomplishments that you have made. I was chastised once by a friend and training partner for my having said to someone after a race that my time "sucked"! My friend told me, "Don't you ever say that again. Do you know how many runners there are that only dream of running that kind of time??!!!" 'Nough said, I was convicted. Now I keep my "pity party" pretty much to myself.

Bottom line: Don't EVER downplay your accomplishments! We are ALL in this race we call life, together!!!

Recreational Running in Macon

Amy said...

No, actually I seem to be the straw that broke the camel's back...I bet the forum, or my blog for that matter, hasn't seen this much traffic in a while.

Rec Runner, you didn't do anything wrong...if it was the first time I heard it I would have blown it off, but it wasn't and that's what upset me. It had nothing to do with you, I promise. By the way, your anon is safe with me...you didn't have any idea I was gonna open a can of worms with it :)

Sarah said...

W00T. Do I EVER know how you feel. Just today as I was bashing myself internally for my time as compared to many of my friends. Then, I realize, I'm lucky just to be out here. Doing my thang.

Keep at it girlfriend. You motivate many of us in blogland, and in regular life.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for opening your blogger for us to carry out [of sight] this particular topic. Run hard, run strong, but most of all, run safe!

Anonymous said...

OK, I've got to leave a comment. Yes I too am a hater. Amy, I hate the fact that you beat me when it comes to running/chatting. You just chat faster than I do. I'm very jealous that you look so much cooler in your way cool new shoes. My Asiscs just make my ankles look fat. (ha!) I hate the way you are so optimistic. You make it very difficult for me to have a pity party for myself when I fail to reach a goal. Finally, I hate the fact that you are such a wonderful person and good friend. You make it hard to think of leaving in a few years when hubby retires from the military. Face it Amy, you are just a horribly wonderful, awesome, and incredible person with great looking legs!

Tim said...

Accomplishments are individual - and you've got plenty of them!

Whenever I hear of people exhibiting this type of snobbish behavior, I'm reminded of the following quote:

"There was one who thought he was above me, and he was until he had that thought." - Elbert Hubbard

AddictedToEndorphins said...

Randomly came across your blog, but I think it's awesome that you go out there and run!

I know that I have a certain respect for people that actually get out of the house and excersize, be the elite runners, normal runners, joggers or fast walkers. I think that's pretty genuine in the running community, but you'll always get people that are 'haters'.

Don't let it bug you, cause for every one hater, theres 10 non-haters. Easier said than done though, i know.

Kurt said...

I read your blog with interest. It is funny thing about speed. Speed is all relative and what really matters is how we do relative to ourselves. My favorite runner is a young lady in CO who might break 2 hrs on a half marathon. Nothing fast by some standards but like you she is working it hard and doing the best to her ability. In the end that is all that matters.

I may be faster than most but I always call myself average. I am not better nor worse than any other runner because in the end all that matters is that I run, I have fun and I enjoy it.

I hope you feel better and don't let silly comments get to you.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I am amazed at what a little "hate" can bring forth. As the song goes, "all it takes is a little love." But look at the "love" responses that a little "hate" garnered!!! Wow, is that ironic or what????

Recreational Running in Macon

Anonymous said...

are you becky's sister? how is she doing?

Anonymous said...

Is this question intended for Rec Runner? If so, no, I am not Becky's sister.

Recreational Running in Macon

Amy said...

Rec Runner, I think the question was posted to me, because YES I am Beckie's sister! She is doing great...has an energetic, bright 7 year old who I talk about often on this blog. She's working in restaurant management and living in Kathleen. Right now she's busy getting ready to be my maid-of-honor. :) If you email acgsemail@yahoo.com and let me know who you are I'll email you some pics of her and Pete!

Anne said...

This comment thread is almost as interesting as the post -- almost. You hit a nerve that deserves to be tapped more often in running clubs. I've been fortunate to belong to a few, and each has the same social hiearchy as high school -- the cool kids and the wannabes. And we know what eventually happens to the cool kids, right?