February 03, 2008

No 20 Miles, but Thanks for the Well-Wishes

I just had absolutely no mojo this morning.

I ran. Just 9. I know. There used to be a point in my life where I thought 9 miles was impossible. Today it was just all I could muster out.

I said once to my running buddies, who stuck with me through the silence, complaining, walking, and other signs of no-mojo, that I wondered what Deena Kastor does when she wakes up and feels like crap. She doesn't have the choice that I did, I'm guessing anyway.

Although I completely sabotaged myself last week with very little running and lots of eating things that I don't normal eat, I'm still glad that I got my lazy carcass out of bed and did it. Or at least 9 miles of it anyway. Actually, I almost didn't get up. And then I thought about Tim and how he had so much going on, and was still going to be out there to run. And that I couldn't let him run all those miles all by himself. Well, it turned out he only ran about 13, and 7 of those before we got there, so he actually didn't have to run alone.

I just feel like crap today. Not like I'm getting sick. And not like I haven't had enough sleep. It's beautiful outside, so that's not the problem. Maybe it's just PMS, but then I don't think I'm being mean too, so that's not the likely cause. Maybe I'm just sick and tired of going going going of always having too much on my plate and trying to be everything to everybody and trying to be everywhere that I think everyone thinks I should be. Maybe I'm just sick and tired of always having to be somewhere, do something, or catch up on whatever it is that I didn't get done yesterday. Maybe I just want to take my little calendar (or my new blackberry which a whole other story) and throw it from the highest building I can find because really in the scheme of it all, does it really matter? Is the world going to fall apart if I don't study for that test I have on Wednesday, or get that audit report written, or all those expenses logged correctly? Is the world going to stop spinning on it's axis if there's no milk in the fridge and no clean socks in sight?

Probably not, but I guess it's my duty as the obsessive-compulsive, list making, organized, multi-tasker to get back out there and save the world by checking one more meaningless item off of that to-do list!

Geez I hope Monday is better than this!

By the way, we've planned to get in 7 more miles after the Mercedes Half next Sunday, to make up the 20.


Anonymous said...

Let me know if you need anything next weekend!!!!

Firefly's Running said...

Hang in there, Amy. You will do fine.

leora's blog said...

sounds like your pretty in tune with why you feel crappy, so i hope you do what you gotta do to get your mojo back! And if you want to be everything to everyone, I would hope everyone just wants you to be you and nothing more...ocd and all!

Marathoner in Training said...

9 miles is nothing to be ashamed of. Some times we do not complete all the milage we want to get in, but we are doing better than some couchpotato watching reruns of Dallas and stuffing their face. You are not the only one in a crappy mood. Hope you feel better soon.