February 01, 2007

Manic Depressive Runner

That's how i feel. I run solid for 2 days then take 2 days off eating stuff I don't normally eat (jalepeno potato chips?) and finding every excuse in the book not to run. And now I've convinced myself that I don't have time to run another marathon until after school is over with. I even made a spreadsheet to show my time deficiencies and how I just can't possible run more than 5 hours per week.

Thankfully, I deleted the spreadsheet. I'm being ridiculous. This school thing has been much more life altering than I thought it was going to be. For the last 3 weeks I've done nothing but cry and whine about how much I have to do. I'm not that person. For real. Today my dad called me at work. I felt so sad getting off the phone with him and NOT making plans for an early dinner or just a couple of beers and some catch-up (I'm Italian. That's what we do.)

In my quest to diagnose my problem, I have come up with a few realizations:
1. Trying to convince myself that laundry is FUN does not make me more apt to do it.
2. Trying to convince myself that just keeping my runs to short ones will make a more productive runner, is not convincing.
3. Although I am truly internally happy about the direction my life is headed, I do not feel very happy.
4. Whoever made the guy who sits in the cube across from in charge of the lader (ie, the place where chocolate goes to die) should be fired. How many Hershey's kisses can one girl eat? Don't ask.
5. I've got to get out of this funk.

I've missed a 5 mile run and an 8 mile run. I'm determined (I think) to make them up before Sunday. I am also DETERMINED to get over whatever this is that is making me feel so funky. In my own words I need to "SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP".


miss petite america said...

i think it's a january thing...everyone i know, me included, is in a's seriously comforting to know i'm not the only one...i thought i was just going crazy

Firefly's Running said...

Amy, I am in the same boat. I can not even run and I am eating like crap. At least I am trying day by day to get better at it so it's all good.

Tim said...

mpa is right - it's Jauary and it's everywhere! It shall pass ..

Kurt said...

This is the time period that defines who are the dedicated runners from the wannabe runners. Go suck it up and go RUN!

Anonymous said...

Have you been reading my mind? I feel the exact same way, in fact, I've been telling myself that I have GOT to snap out of it. I have too many plans for this year and whatever kind of funk I'm living in needs to end.

Sarah said...

Oh, that was me just now. I don't really use blogger, so it makes it hard to post!