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October 08, 2006

No news is good news....right???

I guess that little saying is applicable to most everything except running....

My running week (or geez...I think it's been 3 since i last posted...) have pretty much sucked. One positive note: I am through with PT and able to run as far and as fast as I want. I think I've amassed 3 whole miles since I was let out of jail (so to speak). It was Murpheys Law that stated that once I was able to get my old running legs back, I would get sick....and that is exactly where i have been for the last week. Blowing my nose, taking medicine that makes me feel like i'm incapacitated, and using so much hand sanitizer that my hands are permanenantly dry and red...

But, on the upside tomorrow is Monday and it shall be a better day. I just know it. Well, except for the fact that I fly back to Missisucky. But, then I turn right back around on Thursday and come home for good. My 12 step, I mean week, class is over. For good. Thank goodness.

I also feel really bad because I've been home this entire weekend and not only have I been sick and not running, and not being my genuinly happy self (right..) but I've also been a total byatch to T. Or at least I think I have. As I sit here in my underroos, at 3 in the afternoon, supposed to be getting dressed to go to the movies, the cat is rubbing my leg which is making me so irritated that I just wanna squash her. But, that's not the real problem. I think i'm having small anxiety attacks about being so unorganized. I know that is so silly. But they feel like those pre-tremors that happen right before a big earthquake. Do you know what I mean? Like at any time, the San-Amy Fault is going to errupt into some seizure like hysteria due to lack of organization. Order. Things in their place. Things done. Right. The first time. I just feel it coming that's all.

And really if San-Amy rips in half it would be okay with me, but I feel really bad for T. None of this is his fault. I'm just so preoccupied with everything being done the right way, on time, in order, the way it should be, that I am overlooking the ability to smile. Or the ability to tell him how much I truly care about him. Or thanks for taking me to see the Indigo Girls on Friday. Or the movie last night. Or letting me sleep all day yesterday when I should have been running or doing SOMETHING! I just feel bad. That's all. I want my normal life back. The one where I go to work at the same time everyday and do mostly the same things while I'm there and go to the gym after work and run in the evenings and run on the weekends and do laundry on the same day every week and everything is scheduled and not haphazard and it's just nice and peaceful. The calm because there is no storm.

I'm just ready to come home. That's all. And I'm being a big whiney baby about it. I know. Oh, and one other thing that is totally making me flip out I failed my test. And that totally sucks.

Anyway, maybe I'll have something good to say when i get back next week. Sorry this is the worst post ever.

I'm planning on starting my week off with a nice 7 mile run. That's tomorrow. If it all goes well, there will be a nice chipper post from me tomorrow afternoon :) Until then....

10 comments:

Laurie said...

I understand the crabbiness because of being out of your normal routine. I cannot even imagine being away as long as you have. I think my head would explode. I am sure T understands what you're going through a bit better than you may think he does. Chin up, you are almost through. Plus you are running again, hooray!

Jim said...

It is a terrible thing to be out of routine. I HATE IT!. Sometimes, the more you fight it, the worse it gets. Maybe just take a breath, step back, realize the good things you have . . . you are able to run again (that will help get a lot of junk out of your life), you have T (despite your efforts to meltdown), you have a job. I have to remind myself and Susan occassionally . . . RELAX.
Load up on vitamin C and Airborne . . . It is season for the germies to be out and about. Take care of yourself, in more way than one!
Jim

b said...

I would feel this way as my time in a strange place is ending too. I'm sure all the frustration of being out of your routine must have built up until now that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope your cold goes away soon. Congratulations on getting the all-clear to run again!

Kurt said...

You been out of your routine and hopefully you will be back to it soon. I hope you hit the roads soon.

If you still are into cat squashing I have two evil cats I will drop in the mail to you. It will be my pleasure for you to squish them!

Firefly's Running said...

Hang in there. It will get better!

Phil said...

Pretty soon you'll be back in Macon, in familiar surroundings and back on track with your running program. Hang in there.

Troy Tarpley said...

I know you'll be home for good tomorrow and I can't wait! Have a safe drive.

Love,

T

Anonymous said...

everyone i know is bff with crabiness and germs lately. it's that seasonal transition crap added onto your constant travelling...

buck up chickadee, the crap is almost over and you'll be home free :)

Liv said...

Awww don't worry Amy it's almost over - good times are ahead!

cfp continuing education said...

I understand the unprofessional people can't put it right for us because of being out of your normal routine. A good continuing education people have a great sense of understanding. I am sure understands what you're going through a bit better than you may think he does.