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August 18, 2006

Taking a stand in the name of GI Joe

My super-cute-special-as-ever-fabulous-crazy-loves-his-aunt-more-than-anyone-else nephew called me last night (and, okay, so he might love his mother more than he loves me...but that is always up for debate). Actually, he left me a message with specific instructions "mommy, i heard a beep what do i do now...." pause "hi amy. this is peter. and i am calling you. and talking after the beep noise. so that means that you have to call me back"

Who wouldn't return that phone call????

At any rate, he had an agenda. A 5 year old, who will be 6 in a couple of weeks...do you get where this is going??? We needed to talk about birthday presents....cause he knows I am going to spoil him rotten...last year it was a basketball goal, the year before that a bat, glove, T, and lots and lots of t-balls. When I take him to the movies, it ends up being a $50 affair between the movie, the pizza, the icecream, the gummi bears and Icees, the bookstore, etc. What was I saying? Oh, he knows who to call when he wants something.

But this year...it's a little different. He's in kindergarten. So, he might want more educational toys this year. Right? I just couldn't believe what he asked for....

A GI Joe.

That's the easy part. He loves GI Joe. I love that he loves GI Joe. I think Joe is a patriotic, American symbol of being a boy and I'm all for it. And yes, I'm the one that bought him the GI Joe airplane when he was way too small to have it.

But when, oh when, did they start specializing GI Joe? I always thought there could only be one. The hot one in the uniform. His uniform might change from field camo to desert camo in support of his fellow troops, but I did not expect him to get specialized...like Barbie. That slut. She's rubbing off on him....and that just makes me mad. Because Barbie is NOT a patriotic American symbol of being a girl. She's just. Barbie. A fake person, with fake boobs, and legs that are not anywhere proportionate to the rest of her (and did you see the pregnant Barbie...her stomach was detachable, with a little itty bitty baby inside...where were her swollen ankles???). I'm getting off topic here.

Pete asked for GI Joe Sigma Six.

Do any of you business people out there know what Sigma Six is? If you don't, go Google it. I'd provide a link but I'm on this crazy DSL (that I think is really dial-up) and it would just take me forever. At any rate, Sigma 6 is a management philosophy, tool if you will. I think it started with the Japanese...but I could be wrong. It was big in the late 90's. Every manager was Sigma 6ing their office, plant, etc. It was like a cult.

So what business does GI Joe have with promoting Sigma 6??? I haven't gone to look at him yet...cause I just don't know if I could bear it. GI Joe has traded in his flight suit for a business suit. Instead of ridiculous machine guns strapped all over his body, he's got a "man bag" thrown over his shoulder and a Blackberry attached to his hip. He's traded in his combat boots for the mens fall collection by Prada. No more accessories of ammo, netting, rope, bayonets...now it's a mini-dog with a carrier that matches his man bag. And OMG, he might even come with his own capri pants.

Where does it stop people???? I absolutely have nothing wrong with a hot guy, in a hot suit, with a hot job (capri pants and mini-dog would be a deal breaker though), but there is a place for that. Just like there is a place for GI Joe to have torn pants, and dirt on his face, and sometimes go up in flames while his plane makes a nose-dive into the ground. That is truly what America is built on. GI Joe taking a final leap into a pit of fire while he tries to save the world.

I totally forgot where I was going with this....

Oh, I have a real problem with corporate America trying to metrosexualize GI Joe into a management position. So what if he has better clothes and gets to trade in his jeep for a bmw? And so what if he gets paid 6 figures, instead of his measely $30K per year (remember GI Joe has been in for about 50 years now....and he still only makes $30K....)?

Well, I for one have a problem with GI Joe Sigma Six. Or what I think he might represent. And I just will not stand for it. We have to keep some staples in our country. Some guys who just rock no matter what. We need those guys that are willing to go up in pretend flames each and everyday in backyards across America. WE NEED GI JOE!

Oh crap...how do i get myself into this stuff...you know what. Truth be told, I will buy Pete whatever he wants (as long as he doesn't get any more yellow cards...) even if it means throwing my values to the wind and coming to terms with a metrosexual version of GI Joe. I'm sure Pete would still make him get eaten by a bed of ants in the backyard, capri pants and all....

You know I started this post to tell you guys that Troy is on his plane and will be her in 45 minutes. And that he is always late to whereever he goes, so I really really thought he was going to miss his plane. And I bet he did too...but he didn't. Called me right before takeoff. So, now I'm off to the airport to pick him up and give him lots of hugs and kisses and be gross in front of a bunch of people that I don't know and therefore don't care if they have to be witness to my PDA.

Hope everyone has a great running weekend. Lots of long runs out there. I'm excited to hear all about it next week. As for me, I've got a 4 mile walk/run on Saturday and a 3miler on Sunday. It will be fun to be out there with Troy, since the last time we ran together was the day I broke my foot.

Have a great weekend!!

13 comments:

Firefly's Running said...

Sigma 6? OMG! I worked at 3M where they are SOOOOOO big on it and it's bigger than a nasty rash on the... You get the idea!

My son's not into GI Joe. How strange! He's more in the cartoonie stuff. Oh well.

Have fun with Troy!

Phil said...

Have a great time with Troy ... and enjoy your next run.

jeff said...

have a great weekend, amy!

and i think you really got things mixed up. see, the management tool you're talking about is "six sigma" not "sigma 6".

the gi joe sigma 6 is the space rock, hippie version of gi joe. he's got tie die t-shirts, birkenstocks, cut-off cammo pants, long hair and red coloured lens john lennon glasses. his accessories include a fender bass guitar, home made ceramic bong and bag of crystals. the other members of the team are all similarly dressed and when you put them all together they start an impromptu jam session where they play songs faintly reminiscent of "dark side of the moon".

Kurt said...

My youngest (8 yr old daughter) is into Barbie big time. We live for the movies (dvd) and have about a billion dolls. I should have bought stock in that company!

My oldest daughter was into sports, my two boys were into pokemon. We avoided the GI Joe thing thankfully.

neese said...

well i googled it and your descripton of gi jo sigma 6 actually sounds more appealing than what i'm looking at! :o

have a great weekend with T! yeeeeeeeeah!

:)

Running by.... said...

LOL Jeff's post cracked me up. a hippy GI Joe!

Well..whatever it really means, I hope your nephew enjoys the gift!

john said...

Sigma 6 is just the new GI Joe cartoon, with the accompanying toy line. They're back to the "big" GI Joe figures instead of the small guys.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G.I._Joe:_Sigma_6

Laura said...

Okay, I have to know, where does everyone get that little thingy that you can log your running on your website at?

I can't wait to hear how your run went. Hope all is well.

I think PDA are awesome. Eric & I gross our family out on purpose. :-) Keeps you young, I guess.

cindylouwho said...

Amen, sister friend! I am with you on the GI Joe thing. What the heck, buy your nephew BOTH versions.

Wanna-be 5k-er said...

I'm with you re: GI Joe. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

GL on your walk/runs and have fun with the beau.

Running by.... said...

update please!!!

Liv said...

Metro GI Joe and pregnant barbie? ROFL!!!! :D

Troy Tarpley said...

This is to let everyone know that Amy is stuck in Biloxi with an ISP running at the speed of molassas. She can't check email unless she's willing to click, go to class, then click again. You'd think that a military base would be on top of the computer thing, but then again it is on the Gulf Coast where most everything is still a mess. She'll be back home for a long weekend on Friday and I'm sure she'll have lots of good stuff to blog about.

We went to a middle-school football jamboree over the weekend to watch my 12 yr. old neice cheer. While we were there, we passed a little girl of about 12 that had a T-shirt on that said...
"Nobody cares about your Blog".

We thought the little girl was talking to her. So I pushed her.