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March 30, 2006

The Dessert Queen

I know you were all waiting on the edge of your seats to see if i took the dessert....

Well, I did.

Oh, and it tasted like crap.

True story: my brother and i are making a big plate of warm brownies and vanilla ice cream while my parents are seated and getting ready to devour theirs...then dad, in all of his infinite wisdom turns to my mom and says:

"Did you forget to put something in this?"

My brother and i are snickering away because, well, it is just like my dad to say something stupid....

so, i'm done mounding the icecream on my plate, have a seat, take a bite, and wonder "hell, did she forget to put something in this??? Like sugar???" My brother takes a bite, looks at me, and we both start laughing, which causes my mom to wonder what is so funny...i'm not a liar so i tried to say in most innocent-i-love-you-mom-kinda-way "do you think you forgot to put the sugar in these?" of course, mom goes on the defensive, states it's not her fault cause it really came out of a box, and to top that off she was busy visiting with her children and didn't take them out in time and therefore they are overcooked...and so, I'm just gonna assume that when you overcook something the sugar just vaporizes right out...right...uh-huh....

this is the same woman that tried to feed us Atkins bread...that tasted like Elmers glue and sort of felt like it as it was melting (I'm for real) in our mouths. Or the same women that made pizza crust with wheat germ and told us it would be good, or the same woman that convinced us that it was OKAY to put powdered milk on your corn flakes because all the other kids were doing it, oh and the same woman that convinced me and my sister that it was cool, in a Punky Brewster kinda way, to wear mismatch socks to school...with our shorts....yep, i believe too that sugar evaporates when overcooked....right mom....

But, really my post is about my lack of willpower in the desert arena. So, I made a new rule for myself. There are 65 days left until the marathon, and for the next 65 days I WILL NOT eat any dessert. It's kindof my own spin on lent...which coincidentally, I'm currently giving up chocolate candy bars for....I'm positive it will go well!

Note: In defense to my mom, she did make chicken and dumplings that were awesome (although she said she got the idea to make it "by looking in her freezer and noticing how much of was freezer burned). Additionally, although my mom did some wacked out stuff (and still does I might add) during my life I still do love her...

3 comments:

Scooter said...

In possible further defense of Mom, if, in the interest of not feeding you guys sugar, she substituted Nutrasweet (I think that's the one) for sugar, it would have broken down in baking. To my knowledge it's the only sweetener that does that, so maybe Mom tried to be healthier, but made a wrong choice.

KT said...

I think there should be some kind of loophole that you can have Jell-O or fruit or something sweet after dinner! I know when I try to deny myself completely, I just go crazy with cravings. Then I go out in some awful blaze of glory...

Sue said...

Hi Amy,
Thanks for the comments and advice you left in my blog. Going to try and find a running partner to give me some pointers I think.

Wonder what she REALLY did to those brownies!